Ah, dating - one of my favorite topics. As a girl in her early 20’s, you bet your ass I have some pretty notable dating stories that if I wrote a book, it would be a trilogy (and probably a best seller). Dating is supposed to be fun, exciting, entertaining and enjoyable but after four years of actively (and I mean actively) trying to lock down a man to boyfriend status - I am still single as a fucking pringle.
Yes, single life is pretty damn great if I had to be honest. I can do whatever I want, when I want, how I want - anytime I want. I don’t have to endure awkward family dinners and I don’t have to deal with all the relationship baggage or have to compromise. And all of that is really amazing...for like a year or two. Four is a little long and is making me question whether I need to revamp my personality, sign up for a paid matchmaking service or simply pay a man to say he is dating me just so I can tell my parents friends that I am in fact, finally seeing someone. I know it sounds slightly desperado (cue Rhianna's voice), but just when you think it couldn’t get ANY worse - add a global pandemic into the mix. Let's just extend that four year single streak right to five. Sounds really cute, right?
Not only is dating in a millennial world difficult as is, but dating in a pandemic has been that much more challenging. For those of you who found your significant other during this time - honestly congratulations, I am happy to hear that you are God’s favorite. But for the rest of us who are still looking for that special someone, one of our biggest internal debates is whether or not to re-enter the digital dating world and succumb to downloading Hinge, Bumble or Tinder (for the 10th time... in the last 10 months) I am right there with you.
The idea of “the timing is right” or “it will happen when you are not looking” (which if I must note, is usually said by the people who are currently madly in love and happy with their relationships) is a big load of bullshit. Yes, these terribly cliche statements are true in a NORMAL WORLD but we are in a pandemic where the only person we can safely spend time with is our reflection in the mirror. So us single people bite the bullet and download the apps because we are bored and haven't had any interaction with people outside our bubbles for many, MANY months and hope that this time will be different. We hope that by some miracle the same people who have been on these apps as long as we have, will not come across our screens … again. Seriously, how many times do I have to swipe left on one person? It’s like - Yes, Chad… I am glad to see we are both still single and no I am still not interested in going out with you. Best of luck! May the odds of one of us finding a significant other this time be higher than the last time, but it probably won’t be so I’ll see you next time I re-download this waste of time and beyond shallow app.
So us single people swipe, get a match, see the possibility of light at the end of our single tunnel and start talking to [hopefully] our ‘person’. The conversation is going well, he/she is fun and easy to talk to, a few flirty messages are exchanged and it seems like everything is flowing beautifully. You add each other on social media, unless that person is a creep and says “I don’t have social media” - then you abort, block and leave that person in the Hinge dust because who has a dating app but no Instagram, Facebook, Twitter or even a LinkedIn? You exchange numbers, get to know a bit more about each other and maybe even arrange a date (in-person or FaceTime lol...digital dating) and all of this feels good. You finally feel like you're making it up this uphill battle of love. Everything is going great and feelings seem to be mutual but then… oh yes, cue ghost emoji. It suddenly ends. Like what the actual fuck? Excuse me, what?
A personal favorite that I have become all too familiar with is, The Ghost. Can someone please tell me what happened between last night at 11 p.m., when the connection seemed at an all time high, and 9 a.m. this morning when that first icy text strikes your phone home-screen, followed by Mr. Ghostbuster. This kind of behaviour then ensues a whole bunch of emotions. It goes something like: confusion, annoyance, anger, screw you, I didn’t even like you, you’re not even that hot, I knew this would happen, where is the wine...I need more wine, I need to post a thirst trap, lol my life is a joke, I’m actually happy being single, I'm deleting this app, it will happen when it is meant to happen. Then a month later... I’m bored in the house *re-downloads the app.
Yes, I am making light of the situationships that I, and my friends, so often find ourselves in. Why does dating in a modern world seem like the most insane battlefield that some of us have to go through and others don’t?
As I sit here writing this blog I laugh. I laugh at the amount of time, effort, energy, disappointment and self-doubt that I have "endured" in the so-called dating battlefield. However, from all my experiences, I truly believe that it has helped me learn more about my deal-breakers, red-flags and non-negotiables that I would have otherwise not known if it wasn’t for Mr. Ghostbuster or the guys I was "seeing" for three (sometimes four) weeks.
All jokes aside, I think that as much as "trusting in the process" makes me roll my eyes - it is true. What is meant for you, will find you. Trust me, I still struggle with this - but do believe that when you finally meet your person, it will all click and make sense. However, until then my dating experience just makes for some pretty hilarious and damn good content.
Buckle up - we have so much more to talk about but for now, I am going to go open a bottle of wine (and probably finish the whole thing) because I don’t have to share with a boyfriend. Lucky me, I count that as a win! Single life might not be terrible after all...