Hey, hi, how the hell are yah? My name is Kelsey, and I am the self-declared big sis of the internet. I’m old – a fossil, some may say, which means I have some very hard-earned lessons under my belt; many of which would have helped me when I was younger. I lovingly pass these lessons to you, knowing full well you’re still gonna have to learn as you go like the rest of us did.
I recently started a podcast, The Jack Shit Show, where you can come hang with me and my old pals every Thursday as we regale you with tales of our youth and the stories behind some of the life lessons you’re about to read.
Here are 30 lessons I learned in my first 30 years of life:
Everyone is faking it, no one knows what they’re doing, don’t worry.
Boundaries are hard but important. Learn how to say no.
Asking for help is not a sign of weakness.
You have to drink water. Shut up, suck it up, and stay hydrated.
Heal your gut - this will solve so many of your bod and health issues.
Follow your heart but use your brain.
You are the people you surround yourself with.
Your parents did the best they could with what they knew and have their own problems and traumas and experiences that effected how you were raised and your relationship with them.
Your exes always come back, trust me.
It’s not a competition.
Even at your lowest when you feel like you have no one, you do, your brain is just playing tricks on you.
Do what makes you happy as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else.
Leave your hometown, just for a little while.
No one cares what you’re doing, you’re not the center of the universe.
You are not the first one to go through whatever you’re going through, there are people and resources to help you at every twist and every turn.
Plans seldom work out the way you thought they would – learn to go with the flow and readjust.
Don’t listen to the voice in your head that says, ‘you can’t’. It becomes the loudest, and it’s a big fat liar. You can do anything.
Learn how to compromise in a healthy way.
You have to do a road trip with your best pals, a big one, while you can.
Delete that number. No seriously, delete it.
Listen to your gut feelings – they’re usually right.
Just because you love someone, doesn’t mean they’re right for you.
Learn to actively practice gratitude, it will change the way you think and come in handy.
Put your phone down. Be present.
Therapy is a tool kit for becoming a better person.
Passion was given to you for a reason, follow it to find yourself.
Self-care does not mean spend money you don’t have on shit you don’t need. Self-care does not always mean bubble baths and facemasks. A lot of the time self-care means eating well, getting outside, going to therapy, dealing with your shit… it is not always pretty, but it is always necessary.
The “crazy ex-girlfriend” is often (not always, but often) a myth made up by your man to hide how his shitty behaviour drove his ex to insanity. Also, pay attention to how men speak about their exes cause if y’all break up, sis, that’s how he will be speaking about you. Look for respect.
You have a 100% survival rate. You have made it through anything that seemed “world ending” up until now. Every earth-shattering boulder thrown in your path, everything that didn’t go as planned… you’ll look back and see they weren’t that important, or they were there to shape you into a better person.
Learn when to walk away from people or situations that drain you of your own self-worth or energy.
I’m gonna give you some extras, because I’m a nice, old lady.
Do not ignore red flags. Know your worth. You can’t save everyone. It’s not your fault.
In addition to the podcast, you can come get loved up over on my blog www.ohkayhendo.com (Nik even agreed to do a piece for me over there!) – can’t wait to hang! Don’t worry, you can always come crying to your big sister. Love yah!