Updated: Jan 15, 2021

I know we are all so familiar with those classic New Year's resolutions. Yes, the type we vow to stop drinking, cut out toxic behaviour, stick to our boundaries, change jobs, lose weight... you get the point. In all the years we have said we are "actually serious" this time or "it won't be like last year” - how many of us actually follow through on our resolutions? I will bet the majority of us (aka normal people who get sucked into that glass [bottle] of wine five days into January) say forget it and resort back to our original habits. I am not here to tell you that you should keep those resolutions because you'll become a #bossbabe or #supermodelstatus. No, fuck that. I am here to challenge the norms of what resolutions are and should be.

What if we are meant to break our resolutions? What if we are supposed to let our habits run their course so that when we are ready to retire them, we are really ready to say bye, adios, catch ya never to those habits.

I'm over setting unrealistic resolutions I know will fall through, like when my boyfriend [who isn't my boyfriend] sends a“how are you” text after activating ghost mode for three weeks and I swore I would never talk to him again. Or when my best friends ask me to FaceTime over happy hour and my willpower fades almost immediately so I pour myself a drink. Or when I eat the whole damn bag of chips because it sounds a helluva lot more tasty than a salad #balance.

I think that when you are fully ready to make a change to any part of your life - like really really ready - you will do it. Nobody (not even those stunning, handcrafted-by-God Instagram models or motivational speakers who preach to you about how you can do, look and be better) will make you change long-term. And that is OK. Stop giving into society's expectations and start living your life the way YOU want to live it. Let me be clear, I'm not saying never grow or never change - I am saying make valuable changes in your life when you are ready and not when the calendar strikes a certain date. Tomorrow is just as much of a fresh start as January 1st is.

My New Year's resolutions were not to give up drinking because (pandemic life & wine is delicious) and it wasn't to lose 'x' amount of weight. My resolutions come from a place of true growth. I am finally ready to cut out the toxic bullshit from my life. Men, women, friends, family, jobs, thoughts - all of it. I have finally reached a point in my life where I am done trying to justify people's behaviour. This was so hard for me and has taken years, tears, arguments, frustration, anger and disappointment (a lot of it).

I fell for guys stupid habits and kept justifying their poor behaviour and lack of interest for being "busy with work" or “sorry, I forgot to check my phone for 5 weeks because my hamster had to go to the vet." Yeah, I am making light of my (many) situations because I no longer choose to spend my energy stressing over if a guy likes me or not, or if my 'friends' went to a party and didn't invite me, or when a random stranger gives me a rude look. I now choose to let that shit go.

When you finally get to the part in your life when you only want the people and situations who best serve you emotionally, mentally and physically and help motivate your best sense of self - life becomes so much more beautiful.

Your thoughts really do become your reality and the thing I have complete control over in my life is my thoughts. My ask for those reading this post is to make your resolutions small but make them really fucking meaningful. If they don't resonate with you, you won't keep them. If you already know in your soul that you will not stick to it - ditch it because maybe this isn’t the time for you to have that particular resolution. Find an area of your life that you have exhausted and truly want to change.

You will be more willing to show up for yourself and actively make the choice to make a difference to your life. Again, nobody is telling you to do better “or else” - it is you against you. That's it. You against you.

You got this, I know you do. I'm watching from the sidelines with a Prosecco in hand cheering you on. Go own 2021 - do it for you.

Cheers! xo

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